Numb
by hawkeyesbutt
Summary: Loki and Tony were best friends until Tony shows Loki they can be more than that. After their first evening of love and acceptance, Tony is in a tragic accident causing his death. Loki is left to fix himself up, but will the ghost of his best friend help that?


Some say that death is the next great adventure. Well, let me tell you something sweetheart, they're wrong. So goddamn wrong you would not believe it. So, let's set things straight. The name's Tony Stark, hey there. What's your name? Oh, you're a reader, you can't reply. Well, I'm gonna call you... Lucy. Yeah, I'm assuming you're a girl too. A beautiful, curvy girl with big wonderful green eyes and... We're getting off subject. You can't blame me for needing to flirt; I'm dead for fucks sake! Do you know how many people I've come across while being dead? None. Well, except one. My best friend Loki, Loki Laufeyson he now calls himself. He used to be Odinson but he found out his parents lied to him and he's actually adopted, blah blah blah. I know that makes me sound like a jerk, but do you know how many times I've had to listen to him verbally abuse his family? Too many times, babe, and that moaning started _after _I died. I guess I can sympathise for the kid a bit though; lost his one true bit of happiness in life (A.K.A. me) and then gets told he's adopted. Awk-ward. Anyway; so I died. Yeah, fun right? Got hit by a car. Nice way to go. At first it was all like, "Man, Loki's really good for a virgin." And then it was like, "Oh shit, I'm dead." It was kinda awesome but also sucked a bit. So anyway, I can only talk to one person, Loki, so I guess that means I'm like, haunting him? I've never been big on reading ghost stories. Or reading, for that matter. Loki loves it though; I always moan at him about it. He spends too much time reading and not enough time listening to me! Well, that was until after the accident. Now he never reads and just looks sad, but he still ignores me mostly. It's like, uh, hello? Best friend back in ghost form? Going insane from no one talking to me? Jeez. I know he can hear me, 'cause sometimes his head whips around when I talk and he glares straight at me, then he looks ahead again and his eyes go all watery. Loki's always been a bit of a crier since the My-Best-And-Only-And-Possible-Boy-Friend-Just-Died-Also-I'm-Adopted thing. I don't mind though, because it means he comes round and lays on me and we eat loads of food and watch movies. I miss doing that. Huh, I guess there's a lot of things I miss doing now I'm dead. I guess... Death really does suck.

* * *

The streets were loud and full of people as usual; People were constantly bumping into me and I, of course, had to give them my death glare. Despite the large amount of people surrounding me and the volume level, I was in a pleasant mood. The sun was out and blazing; it was even warm for New York. I had decided to go along with my best friend Tony to venture out into the city to get lunch. Although this seemed more and more like a mistake every time Tony got out of reach and I was left stranded in a crowd of annoying/annoyed people. It would never be long before Tony would grab my hand and pull me out of the never-ending busy-bodies. We finally found a suitable restaurant; by that I mean, not a shitty fast-food joint. Tony tried to drag to me places like McDonalds and KFC only for me to argue about all of the vulgar ingredients in those foods, as well as the state of the so-called "restaurants". Tony and I were both born into well-off families, so we had plenty money. Why not spend it on quality food? Tony would eventually give in after every try for a while before spotting somewhere else. Finally, I pulled him over to a clean-looking restaurant with a French-looking name. He scanned the menu outside and conceded, letting me drag him inside and get a table for two. Once we were settled, we were given menus to look over properly.

"Thank the gods we're out of the crowds," I muttered, unsure if it was to myself or Tony.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure if I had to hold your hand any longer people would have thought two of the richest kids in the state were a couple," Tony answered casually, before clicking his fingers for a waiter and ordering a bottle of red wine, confirming with me first.

I chuckled at his comment. "The papers would be outraged if we were."

"'TONY STARK SEEN HOLDING HANDS WITH LOKI ODINSON! Are they a couple? Or are they just more than friends? Find out on page 3!'"

"'The inside lives of the richest people on Earth: Who's dating who?'"

Tony let out a deep chuckle. "They'd probably go on to say that I would be gay because of the neglect I've gotten from my father, making my mother my role model or whatever."

"I'd say they'd call your engineering abilities a cover for how much you love penis," I said in response, grinning as he snorted while drinking his red wine.

"I'm sure they could say a lot worse about you, seeing as you actually are gay," Tony teased.

"Excuse me?" I enquired, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"Oh come on, Lokes. When have you ever had a girlfriend?" He queried, taking another sip of his drink. "I've known you since we were like 10 when you moved here, and I've never known you to have a girlfriend. You're 17, dude."

I felt my face heat up. It was true; I never had had a girlfriend, compared to Tony's several one night stands. It wasn't that I hadn't been asked out before; sure, I'd been on a few dates but once I realised I wasn't attracted to them I gently let them down and continued on in my life. Relationships had never been that important to me. It was always work and friends, which I had little of.

"I just don't think relationships are important to me," I said carefully, drinking my own wine. "Sorry if I haven't had about a hundred one night stands."

Tony grinned. "It's not my fault if sex is at the top of my favourite things list."

"Well I wouldn't know, would I," I muttered quietly, hoping he wouldn't pick up on it and move on. But this was Tony we were talking about. With his dark brown hair and matching eyes and stupid beard thing on his chin. His face matched his personality perfectly. Cocky and annoying.

"Hang on," Tony stopped my internal dialogue and I sighed. "You're... You're still a virgin?"

I stared at the table cloth, fiddling with my napkin. I heard him chuckle softly and I looked up at him and glared. "Just because I'm inexperienced doesn't mean you can laugh at me. It's perfectly normal to be 17 and a virgin. At least I'm not 17 and a man slut."

Tony laughed louder this time. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. That is just- adorable, really. Have you ever kissed a girl?"

My face was getting hotter and hotter again and I glared at him, feeling the anger rise in me. If he treaded into more of this territory, it would not end well. In other words, the wine would end up on his head.

"You haven't?! Oh Loki my friend, you are missing out." Tony said with a shit-eating grin. "Okay, I'll let it go because I know you'll snap any second."

"Thank you." I managed to breathe out, using all my force not to lash out.

"Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, you're totally gay, Lokes."

"...! No I'm not!" I answered, forcing to keep my voice down.

"Have you ever found yourself remotely attracted to a girl? I've never seen you even check a girl out," he pointed out and I glanced away. "Seriously, Loki." He leant forward and pulled my head towards him, forcing me to look at him. "Have you never considered it all this years?"

I bit my lip. I wasn't gay, was I? I just wasn't really attracted to women... But that didn't mean I was attracted to men, did it? You get asexuals all the time. Well, not all the time but… You don't HAVE to be attracted to either sex. I mean, I'd never found another guy hot... Not really... Only one…

Tony clicked his fingers in my face, bringing me out of my inner mind battle. "Well?"

"Maybe I'm asexual, did you never consider that?" I said, pulling his hand off my face. He grabbed my hand though and I felt my face start to get slightly hot again.

"Loki... You're breathtakingly beautiful, did you know that?" Tony breathed; his face closer than what was deemed comfortable. I felt my heart rate elevate and I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. Tony pulled back suddenly and flashed his famous grin. "I fucking knew you were gay."

"That-that doesn't prove anything!" I said, shaking my head. My cheeks started to cool down and I glare at him. "I'm not gay."

"Yes you are, Loki." He said, as our food arrived and was placed in front of us. "You just gotta accept it; you were 'born that way' and everything."

"Tony, I am not..." I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration. "You know what? Believe what you want. It doesn't affect me."

"Oh really?" He asked as he tucked into his burger. I rolled my eyes as his obvious choice, despite coming to a posh restaurant. "So you wouldn't mind if I called you... Princess? Fairy? Faggot?"

My insides churned at the last name and they seemed to shrivel up and shy away from it. I had always hated that word; it was definitely one of the worst words to insult a gay person with. It was just so revolting; it made gay people seem like they weren't worthy of anything by being called it. I flinched at the word and he seemed to notice.

"Okay, not the last one. Sorry," he said, taking in my discomfort. "You're a bit defensive of that word for a supposedly straight person, aren't you?"

"Just because I support LGBT doesn't mean I'm a member," I shot back, tucking into my pasta.

Tony suddenly groaned very loudly, dropping his head on the table. I stared at him in confusion. What the hell is playing at now? "Are you seriously that invested in your own little bubble that you can't see what's staring you in the face?"

"Tony-"

"Loki, just admit it, okay? I won't be mad or anything; I've been friends with you for years and suspected you were gay! I'm totally fine with it!"

I rolled my eyes and put my cutlery back down into the now-empty bowl. "Whatever you think, Tony, I don't care. Can we get out of here now, please?"

Tony sighed in exasperation, leaning on his hand. He glared at me. "Okay. You're paying because you won't admit the truth."

I chuckled and rolled my eyes again, paying the bill and leading the way out of the restaurant, listening as Tony grumbled beside me.

* * *

We stepped inside my home, Tony strolling in like he owned the place and jumping over the sofa only to lounge on it. I sighed, wishing he that just one time he would resist the urge to do that, and went to sit beside him. He switched the huge television on, searching through channels and, after giving up on that looked at movies for us to watch. Tony finally selected a film and sat back. I glanced over at him wearily. "Tony...?"

He looked over at me, an eyebrow raised. "I thought you loved gay fairy vampires. Aren't they hot?"

I shoved him hard; so hard he actually managed to fall off the sofa. How like Tony. "You're such an arsehole."

He chuckled as he lifted himself back onto the sofa, slightly closer to me than before. "No I'm not. I'm tryin' a help, Loke! Help you accept yourself!"

I sighed, standing up to get popcorn as he yelled obscenities at me. I sat down beside him again with the bowl, watching from the corner of my eye as he moved much closer to reach into the bowl. Or, what I thought was an attempt to reach into the bowl.

We watched the film in silence for a while, only breaking the silence to make a rude comment about how dreadful Twilight was, or the acting. Eventually, we were both in fits of laughter, holding our stomachs as we tried to breathe through the laughing. The laughter slipped away and I found my face uncomfortably close to my best friend's. There were mere centimetres apart and I felt as his hand rested on my thigh, my face was getting hotter and before I could look away-

Tony pressed his lips against mine. I remained still, unsure of what on earth I was supposed to do with this. Before I could even comprehend my actions, I had started kissing him back, like it was an instinct. He ran his tongue along my lower lip and I opened my mouth, feeling the strange experience as his tongue slipped inside and searched my mouth. I refrained myself from letting the noises pass my lips, until Tony's hand slid further up my thigh when I let out a moan. He pulled away for a second, grinning at me.

"So, you ready to admit you're gay?" He asked, his face flushed in the moment.

In that moment I felt a mixture of shock, disbelief, hurt and anger sweep through me. Shock that he had even kissed me; disbelief that I was, in fact, gay; and now hurt and anger that he had kissed me up until this far just to confirm his suspicions. I shoved him off of me, forcing myself not to give into my emotions. I glared at him, the anger seeping through and hiding all traces of hurt. Until I spoke.

"You did that just to confirm you were right?!" I screeched, hurling myself away from him. "With time, Tony, I could have accepted it. I WOULD have. There was no need for you to- for you to tamper with my emotions like that!" My voice cracked in the last few words and I turned away from him, hiding my expression as I forced the tears back.

"Loki! I didn't do it because of that-"

"Don't lie to me, Tony fucking Stark! You're straight! You have no IDEA what this is like! You know nothing about going through sexual orientation because you're so sure that you're straight that-"

"That what? I kiss my best friend who happens to be a male?" I composed myself, turning round to face him and study his expression. He looked hurt that I'd even suggested that- but the sincerity shone through, and I knew he was speaking the truth. "Loki, I never said I was straight."

I paused at that, taking completely off guard. My mask fell and the hurt and sadness seeped through, only now with a hint of hope. I pulled myself together and glared at him. "Don't tell me you're gay when you go around fucking women all the time-"

"Ever heard of bisexual?" He interrupted again, slowly making his way closer to me across the sofa. "Where you like both girls and guys? It sounds way more me, don't cha think?"

"Since when have you ever slept with any men?" I queried, not convinced at all.

"Oh, only about two times. Then I stopped when I thought I actually was in love with a guy."

I looked up at him properly then, feeling confused. "You've never mentioned loving someone before. Why didn't I know about this?"

He chuckled softly, now sat right beside me again with only a few more centimetres of space than before. "Well, I didn't want to tell you seeing as you didn't even think you were gay."

"What does that matter?" I asked suspiciously, not raising my hopes up for the answer.

"Come on, Loki, you're cleverer than that. You fuckin' know who it is. It's the big lump of gay sat right beside me," he spoke softly, a huge grin on his face.

I tried to compute what he was even saying. He... He was in love with... Me? But I'm... I'm just... He's... I looked into his huge brown eyes attaching my hand to his collar as I pulled him forward, mashing our lips together again.

"Know that- if you're lying to me- I'll cut your throat," I mumbled out between kisses.

"Noted," he breathed back, kissing me harder. It was fair to say that kissing was an amazing experience. It felt as amazing as it looked in movies I had watched. Yes, some of those movies were porn movies. Gay porn movies. So I lied, alright? I've known for a long time I was gay, but I pushed it away hoping it would never resurface. Like bills or unwanted clingy dates. I moaned again as his hand stroked my crotch working its way to the top of my jeans. As he undid the buttons, I placed my hand on his and pulled away.

"Tony, I've never done anything... Sexual before," I said, blushing slightly. He smiled in response; not his annoying shit-eating grin, not his mocking smirk, but a genuine smile.

"It's okay, I'll be gentle with you," he said softly in my ear. "You tell me the limits and I'll stick to 'em."

"Okay..." I mumbled in response, "I don't- I don't really know-"

"How about I keep going and when you're really uncomfortable you tell me and I'll stop." He took the words right out of my mouth and I silently nodded, letting him continue.

* * *

And so I ended up losing my virginity that night. After breaking apart just to move upstairs, I ended up feeling comfortable the whole way. I felt the pain in my behind as I stood up, noticing how late it was. Tony lay asleep on my bed and I watched him in silence for a moment. I winced as I bent over, picking up my clothes and putting them on. Tony had worn a condom to reduce any mess on my behalf; which I was extremely grateful for. I noticed Tony's phone vibrate in his jean pocket and light up through the material. I carefully picked it up, reading the caller ID. It was Tony's mother calling. Before I could pick up and explain that Tony was here, the call ended, showing me the long string of calls his mother had sent him. I counted, seeing a total of 15 calls. I walked back to Tony, shaking him a little. He stirred, looking up at me in his naked form. He groaned and tried to fall asleep again.

"Lokiiiii, can't you come and sleep with me? I don't really snore, I only tell that to girls so they'll leave after sex-"

"Sweetheart, your mother has called you 15 times."

Tony shot up, gathering his clothes and hauling them on. He looked at the time and his eyes widened. "Fuck!" He mumbled. "I have to go, I'm real sorry. I didn't know it was this late," he said, frowning.

I felt a ringing in my pocket and took my phone out to see Maria Stark's number. "She's calling me now," I said, smiling at the thought of Tony's mother. She was a kind woman, much like mine; they shared many similarities... Although my mother seemed to have a strange distance from me somehow. She would hug me and kiss me but she was always distanced, careful of what she said around me. I had grown to be used to it. Tony's mother seemed like the most honest person in the world; she simply reeked of affection and love. I answered the call, pressing my phone to my ear and watching fondly as Tony jumped around pulling his boxers up. "Hello Mrs. Stark," I answered smoothly.

"Loki dear! Do you know where Tony is? He won't answer his phone!" Her voice sounded frantic as it always did when she worried about Tony. She was a worrier in all sorts.

"It's alright Mrs. Stark, Tony's right here. Sorry Maria, we got caught up playing video games and didn't notice the time," I lied smoothly, adding a hint of apologetic to my tone.

"Oh- thank goodness! Well, that's fine then. Is he on his way home?"

"Yes, he's just getting his stuff together; I'll make sure he calls you on the way home."

"Thanks sweetie. You're such a kind boy. I wish Tony was a bit nicer sometimes; he's always so rude to other people!" I chuckled down the phone at her fondness, smirking at Tony all the while.

"Yes, he's certainly a rude boy, that's for sure." I said with a quirk of my lips, Tony glaring at me and begging me to end the call. "Well it was lovely chatting Maria, I better go see Tony off. Bye!"

As she gave me an ending response I finished the call and smirked at Tony. "You're mum loves me." I teased, stepping towards him, "She wishes you were nicer like me."

Suddenly, I felt myself being pushed back against the door to my bedroom, Tony kissing me harshly as his fingers wrapped around my waist. I grinned into the kissing, letting Tony take dominance. "If I were _nicer_ like you I wouldn't be able to do things like that," he jabbed as he pulled away. "You're not even nice anyway. You're mean."

I smirked at him again. "You know me well, Tony." I glanced back at the bed and sighed. "If only we had time for another round..."

Tony's eyes seemed to light up at the challenge but I chuckled and lifted my phone up, waving it in his face. "I said 'if', darling, not 'we do'."

Tony scowled, but kissed me again, softer and slower this time. I sighed contently and wrapped my arms around him. Underneath all those friendship barriers I had set up, underneath all those unspoken rules about friendships, underneath all the "we're just friends"; I had unleashed the feelings for Tony he had trapped there since I met him. The feelings where Tony gave me butterflies at every touch, every lingering gaze lighting up my cheeks. As Tony finally let me go I looked into his gorgeously brown eyes. "I love you," he spilled out, frowning afterwards as if he hasn't meant for that to come out. "I mean-"

"I love you too." I answered, shutting him up. "Now go home before your mother gets ill with worry."

He stared at me in a stunned manner, which I only responded with a small smile. I lead him to the door and kissed him on the doorsteps, watching as he walked down the drive and along the sidewalk until he was out of sight. I smiled tenderly to myself, heading back inside. Things were looking up. I headed up to my bedroom, lying on my bed and thinking about Tony.

* * *

Not long later, I heard as a bell chimed, signalling dinner. I swung my feet over the side of my bed, phone in hand in case Tony texted, and went down for dinner. I was hit with sudden panic when I realised I'd have to eventually come out to my family as gay. I wasn't sure how long I could keep it a secret from my mother; she knew me better than anybody except Tony. I planted myself in a seat beside my oaf of a brother Thor, nodding as he looked over at me. "Brother!" He greeted me, too over-enthusiastic for my liking. "I haven't heard from you all day. What have you been doing, holed up in your room all day?"

"I went out this afternoon for lunch with Tony actually, then he came back and we watched a movie and played video games," I said smoothly.

"Stark again?" Thor made a disapproving face and continued. "You would know better to hang around with the likes of him. He is foul at the most." He paused, sticking his knife into some meat and lifting it onto his plate. "Why not hang around with me and my friends?" He took a huge bite, continuing to talk... With his mouth full. "My friends are definitely more suitable."

I glared at him, crossing my arms over my chest. "You don't even know him... And you say that every time I hang out with him. Which has been for as long as I can remember. So for the last time: I do not want to hang out with your friends. Sif hates my guts and Fandral is a pervert."

"Those are not true! What about Hogun and Volstagg? Are they not suitable?"

"Volstagg eats. All the time. Hogun just doesn't say anything and glares at me." My eyes surveyed the plates of food before me, sighing as I saw mostly meat. Now, I'm not a vegetarian or vegan. I just... There's so much meat. Every meal time. Can't we have something else? It's just... MEAT. I sighed and scooped some salad onto my plate, content with that.

Our parents soon appeared and sat down at either ends of the table. My father and I, much like Tony and his father, did not have the best relationship. My father did not ever approve of my achievements, whereas Tony's father did not even acknowledge them. It was odd how alike we were in terms of our parents.

As we all dived into our food, my phone went off. Everyone looked up at me, annoyed at the disruption. I pulled it from my pocket, looking at the caller ID. My eyes went wide as it read Maria Stark. Why would Tony's mother be calling? It could only mean it was about Tony. Who had left the house about half an hour ago. Which is long enough for him to get home...

Without a second glance at my families' expressions, I answered the call, pressing the phone to my ear. "Hello?"

"Loki? Is Tony still at your house?" Her voice shook with worry now.

"No, he left about half an hour ago... Have you tried calling him?" The worry began to embed itself under my skin, causing me to bite my lip.

"Y-yes, I tried many times but he didn't... He didn't pick up," she said, on the verge of tears.

"Alright; he can't have gone far. I'll go and look for him, okay? I'll call you if I know anything. Try not to worry too much, Mrs. Stark."

"Th-thank you, Loki."

I ended the call, jumping up from the table and heading towards the door. "Where do you think you're going?" My father's loud voice boomer across the room, making me flinch.

"I have to go find Tony, he's not home and he won't answer his phone," I answered quickly. I ran out the door, ignoring the rest of the shouts that followed, grabbing my coat and heading out the front door.

As I slammed the door shut, I immediately broke into a sprint. I pulled out my phone, calling Tony, only to get how same result as his mother got. I ran for a few minutes down the sidewalk, my eyes searching frantically for anything Tony. "Tony!" I called out. "Tony! Where are you?" I kept running and shouting, for 10 minutes until I froze in my tracks. On the empty, silent road, there was a strange heap. I said 'strange heap' because I'd much rather not acknowledge what it in fact was. I cautiously approached it, my heart beating loudly in my ears. When I was close enough to see the light from the street lamp reflecting off his black super-dry jacket, his blood-stained brown hair and his limbs all twisted, I ran as fast as I could to his side. I turned him on his back so I could see his face, the horror and panic welling up inside of me. "TONY!" I screeched into his face. "Can you hear me? Please, please, wake up, Tony, please-" I was slapping his face gently, I needed him to wake up. His face was covered in blood and scratches, his eyes were closed, his lips were turning blue from the cold. I pulled my coat off, draping it over his body. "Please," I whispered, "Don't... Don't die." I used as much of my knowledge on first aid that I could. I called an ambulance, checking his breathing signs; he seemed unconscious, but breathing lightly; I listened to his heartbeat, feeling a glimpse of hope when I heard the faint slow beat. I called his mother, telling her to meet me at the hospital; I at least wanted to go with him in the ambulance, knowing I wouldn't be allowed to see him straight away when he woke up. If he woke up.

I tried not to think like that; I stayed hopeful. I wasn't going to let someone who I'd just found out I loved now _die_. I wasn't going to let my best friend of however long just... Leave my life like that. He was mine and no one in heaven or hell could have him. They'd have to fight me before that could happen. But none of that mattered; because there I was, sat in a waiting room beside my best friend/boyfriend's mother, tears falling down her cheeks, resting on my shoulder. I knew my parents were trying to contact me; but I couldn't let myself go outside to make one call in case we heard about Tony. Suddenly, as if she knew what I was thinking, Maria spoke up. "Have you- told your parents where-where you are?" She sniffed. I handed her a new tissue.

"No," I said quietly, "I need to know Tony's alright first. I can't- not even for a second-"

"Go on dear, you need to tell them. They'll be worrying where you are," she said softly, her sobs subsiding for the moment. "I'll get you as soon as I hear news."

I paused to consider, before nodding and heading outside. I quickly turned my phone on and was immediately phoned by my mother. I answered, pressing it to my ear. "Hello?"

"LOKI?! Where have you been?! What's going on? You just run out at dinner and don't return for hours- you switch your phone off-"

"I'm at the hospital."

"What?! Are you alright?!"

"Tony got hit by a car." I whispered into the phone, forcing myself to hold the tears back. There was a moment of silence before my mother spoke again.

"Oh sweetheart. Would you like me to come to the hospital and wait with you?"

"Yes-" I cleared my throat. "Yes please, mother."

"Alright, I'm on my way."

In the background I could hear my father shouting but my mother quickly ended the call before he could speak to me. I silently thanked her and headed back inside. Tony's mother sat in the same spot with the same sad expression. "Any news?" I asked quietly, sitting down beside her.

She shook her head. "I can't believe this has happened. My precious baby boy-"

"It was my fault." The words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them, before I could realise what I was saying. Was it my fault? "I should have told him to go home sooner. I should have walked back with him-"

Maria's arms wrapped around me and pulled me into a hug as the tears streamed down my face once again. It was my fault. It was all my fault. "Loki, it wasn't your fault... You couldn't have done anything to stop this..." She whispered into my ear, but I knew it was all lies. Lies to make me feel better. Lies to make me believe more lies. I let her hold me and I let myself cry in her arms until my mother came; in which I stopped crying and sat staring at the doors while my mother chatted with Mrs. Stark. Tony was only a few rooms away in an operating room. Maybe they've fixed him. Maybe he's awake right now but the nurse hasn't come and told us yet. Maybe he's asleep. Maybe he's-

"Are you Mrs. Stark?" My head snapped across to see Maria and a doctor surgeon stood in front of her. He had an indifferent expression; his green scrubs had some blood stains on. I edged towards her, clutching her hand.

"Y-yes, I'm Mrs. Stark," her voice shook violently as she got the words past her lips and I watched as the surgeon sighed slightly.

"I'm afraid your son was hit quite badly by the moving car. He suffered a broken leg and cracked ribs which were pressing in on his organs making it harder to breathe. We took him into surgery straight away but..." He sighed again. "I'm afraid he did not make it."

The world stood still for a while. Everything seemed to slow down and I released my hand from Maria's and stood up. All I felt was numb. Numb numb numb. Shakily I walked towards the surgeon, standing fully in front of him. "No," I said, my voice shaking through the numb feeling in my brain. "No. Tony can't- I don't believe you."

"I'm afraid young man that your friend has passed. We weren't able to save him in time."

"No... Stop it! Stop lying to me!" I suddenly screamed, launching myself at the doctor. I felt arms wrapping around my waist and restraining me but I didn't care. "You- you could have saved him! You should have saved him! Why didn't you- Answer me! Tell me it's a lie!"

"Sir, I'm very sorry about your friend but-"

"He was more than that!" I screeched. "He wasn't just my friend! He was my only friend! He was my best friend, he was my... He was my boyfriend." I whispered finally, suddenly feeling all the energy leave my body and I fell to my knees in front of him. I stared at the ground. "He can't be gone..." I whispered to myself. "Not him..."

I felt myself being pulled up, an arm around my shoulder supporting me and directing into a car. I stared blankly out of the window at the dark sky getting lighter as it approached an early hour in the morning. I felt my eyelids fall down over my eyes and my body went limp; I felt a strong pair of arms I recognised as my brothers lifting me from the car and into the house, up into my room. As the arms left I reached out for him; for my brother. I forced my eyes open to meet his and he held my gaze, waiting for an answer to the unspoken question.

"Stay with me," I whispered to him. "Please." His big blue eyes filled with pity and he gently slid into my bed beside me, letting me wrap my arms around him and cry into his broad chest. We remained like that until we both fell asleep, dreaming dreams full of nothingness. Dreaming of being numb.


End file.
